life – AbhiKNotes – The blog of Abhishek Karadkar

Life back then and Now?

There was a time when life used to be simple. There were no smartphones, no social media, no YouTube and no Netflix binge. Instead those days after work were spent in playing card games, or playing cricket, or even going for trekking on a nearby mountain.

I remember the summer vacations were the most excited period of life back then. Because those two months of holidays ( April and May) in India were the most awaited days during the school year. As soon as the last day of school ended, the everglowing smile on the kids face, and at the same time, the angry look on their parents face ( as they would have to spend the next two months running away from their kids never ending demands, fights, masti, whatever you may call). The first thing we kids used to do is purchase some wafers, or chocolate as soon as we came out of the school gate. The street vendors were also wise enough to stand just outside the school, knowing the last day of school is about to over.

Then the next two months plan would include, not much but playing cricket all day, watching WWF (known as World Wrestling Federation back then). If you are from 90’s generation, you would have experienced that golden era when all kids were crazy after the WWF fights, trump cards, huge fan following especially for Rock, or the Undertaker and even going to the extent of setting up a wrestling stage at home using pillows, cushions and mattresses, and trying to emulate the stunts with friends. Oh, What an era that was!

As there were no tech gadgets, hence, we rarely stayed at home. Infact, I remember my mother and my friends mother’s would often complain that we kids never stayed at home during holidays. I guess, nowadays the biggest concern of today’s generation mothers is how to get their kids out of their room or house for playing! I can’t believe time has changed so much in just 20 years!

When I compare the kids life today with the time when I was a kid back in 90’s, besides the huge technological leap and the sophisticated lifestyle many kids today are living, there is another difference between both the times. And that is happiness. Our happiness back then was often associated with little things, like allowing to play cricket all day, buying favorite chocolate, a special type of wafer known as ‘Bobby’ ( I don’t think anyone eats these days), or even eating our favourite maggi while watching WWF fights.

However, even those little things which we eat or watched made us happy. Because we knew it was finite, and that we won’t get it everyday. Hence, we enjoyed every moment of it. Infact, our school teachers, and parents even tried to play a trick that if we studied for ‘x’ number of hours, then we would get our favorite drink -‘Rasna’ or even allowed to eat Ice cream. Maybe it was a psychology ‘Operant Conditioning’ on us, but we valued the treat we got later. And that made us happy.

Maybe because there weren’t many things to do, and hence, whatever we got we valued them. Life was not luxurious back then, atleast when we compare to current standards. But that never made us sad or depressed. While today, we see there is excess of everything. Kids are pampered by all sorts of things to such an extent that they lose the value of what they have got ( and how much they have got). And even worse, is the social media, YouTube, online games, which all comes for free these days. Facebook is free, watching videos is free, playing games is free, and thus what happens is when we get things for free and in abundance ( with the never ending supply as these social media, gaming sites are available 24X7), today’s young generation hardly realises the value of it.

Because we understand the value of something after we pay the price for it, or when we lose/miss it.

And today’s tech, social media is inherently built on the foundation that their service is offered for free, and is always available. Hence, we don’t pay for it, and neither do we miss it. Now, do we realize how big this problem is?

And the worst part is that all this is not making us happy anymore. As I reminisced about my days as a kid, I find it very depressing that today’s kids are not experiencing that happiness in small things anymore. Because all the things they are getting easily, freely and without any dearth of supply. Nowadays, it seems that there is no difference between a summer vacation and a normal school day. Because everyday is the same for the new generation.

Hence, even though we have progressed a lot in technology, but somewhere in this process, we are losing our own happiness. Sometimes, I wonder if my 90’s generation might be the last generation which lived through their childhood without any cellphone signal, internet data packets, social media chats and tweets!

© Abhishek Karadkar and abhiknotes.com, 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Abhishek Karadkar and abhiknotes.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The perks of being a Wallflower!

I watched the movie – ‘The perks of being a Wallflower!’ When I started watching this movie, I didn’t even know what a wallflower meant. As per Merriam-Webster, it means

a person who from shyness or unpopularity remains on the sidelines of a social activity (such as a dance); a shy or reserved person

The movie is based on an introverted, reserved character named, Charlie, who is like a wallflower. I liked this movie not only because it is a good movie, but also somehow, it relates to me as a person. I always knew that I have been kind of introvert, or even reserved. And I felt ashamed about it. Because usually in society, an introverted or shy person is often neglected, or sidelined. Its hard for him or her to make friends, to get ahead in school or college, to work on group projects, to debate, to share and make friends.

I have experienced this in my life. I remember how hard it was to make new friends in my school and college days. Later, with time and as maturity came, I could cope over this limitation to make friends, but still I fail to keep the friendships for long time. Just like Charlie, I also rarely dared to raise hands in the class to answer the question asked by the teacher, even though I knew the answer. I used to wait for someone else to raise their hands, and thus avoid becoming the center of attention. Because for introverts like us, the most dreaded thing is the limelight or being put on the spot.

I used to blame myself for being fearful in those days. But later did I realise, its not really fear, but it has something to do with my introverted personality type. And the most important thing I learnt quite late is the wisdom that its OK to be introverted. That its OK to stay away from centre of attention. Not everyone needs to be on the stage. If everyone decides to perform on the stage, then who will be the audience? And it is important to accept that its perfectly OK to be a part of audience! Because only those who have the gift to appreciate the talent of others, can become a perfect audience. And introverts possess this gift, who values the aesthetics, and the arts and they appreciate the talent of others. That’s why Wes Fesler quotes

Wes Fesler Quote: “Every diamond has the ability to shine when there is someone to recognize — Wes Fesler

Though it has been many years since this movie has been released, but somehow, it still feels so relevant and lively even today. This movie highlights the fact that there is no shame to be a wallflower, unlike how society makes us feel bad for being one. That its our life and we have to define it on our terms and conditions to live as we want. Personality is a gift, and a unique one bestowed on all of us. There is no perfect personality trait, and hence at the end, there is no such absolute good or bad one. We have to figure out how we want to be!

To be continued…..

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky — Source

Never Give up!

Life brings with it all its flavors. Sometimes, the struggle for few people is hard, while sometimes, life is good. Sometimes, things dont work out as we wanted them to be, while other times, everything becomes a pleasant surprise. However, the situation might be, but life is beautiful. No matter however we struggle, or endure hardships, life is meant to be lived for a purpose, for some goal, even for someone.

Living life alone or just for selfish persuits is not only bad, but also is not sustainable. Because when we become too obsessed with our own goals and toxic ambitions, then we become depressed. The main reason to become depressed is overthinking about self. If we keeping asking, What will happen to me? Why me? Why me? soon we become sad and depressed over life. We might have enough money in our bank, but this constant worrying will make our nights sleepless. Whats the use of buying big house, and nice bed, when we cant even sleep peacefully?

It is interesting to note that depression is not just caused due to failure, or unable to accept failure, setbacks, loss of loved ones etc, but also because of unable to digest success, power, fame etc. That’s why we see, so many successful people get depressed even after becoming the number 1 in their field. Recently, Naomi Osaka twitted that she is suffering from depression, inspite of being the best tennis player in the world.

Even Virat Kohli, Deepika Padukone in India had come out openly in the media about their periods of depression. Why do these rich and the famous and the successful suffer from depression?

I guess it is because just like failure, it is important to digest success as well. We all are told about the need to overcome failure through hard work, and that failure is nothing but stepping stones to success. But we are rarely told that even success can be difficult to cope up with. Reaching the Everest of success is not a cakewalk. It takes efforts to reach there, But even more effort is needed to stay in balanced and in control on that peak of Everest. Else, it takes no time to fall down.

Those who cannot control this over attention, fame, power suddenly showered on them as soon as they are successful fall down sooner or later. Some go into bouts of depression for a short time, while others completely lose their interest in their field. Even a talented swimmer like Michael Phelps slipped down into depression, to the extent of taking his own life. Thankfully he did not.

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/19/health/michael-phelps-depression/index.html

The below conversations with Michael Phelps shows how bad the life of a winner or celebrity can become…

“I was always hungry, hungry, and I wanted more,” said Phelps. “I wanted to push myself really to see what my max was.”Intensity has a price.”Really, after every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression,” said Phelps when asked to pinpoint when his trouble began.

Phelps punctuated his wins at the Olympic games in 2004, 2008 and 2012 with self-described “explosions.” The “hardest fall” was after the 2012 Olympics, said Phelps. “I didn’t want to be in the sport anymore … I didn’t want to be alive anymore.”

Today he understands that “it’s OK to not be OK” and that mental illness “has a stigma around it and that’s something we still deal with every day,” said Phelps. “I think people actually finally understand it is real. People are talking about it and I think this is the only way that it can change.”

“That’s the reason why suicide rates are going up — people are afraid to talk and open up,” said Phelps.Today, by sharing his experience he has the chance to reach people and save lives — “and that’s way more powerful,” he said.

“Those moments and those feelings and those emotions for me are light years better than winning the Olympic gold medal,” said Phelps.”I am extremely thankful that I did not take my life.”

After reading such stories, I think it is important to teach the young students and kids in school and universities, about the need to be in control in failure and success. Just like failure are stepping stones to success, similarly, success can also become a trap for failure someday. Too much craving for success will surely affect the mental health, and thereby slid the person down into depression and loss of confidence. Hence, whatever happens, the only thing matters is to never give up. If we look at life from a wider lens, we see that achievements and setbacks are just phases in life. Afterall, we cannot take the success with us on the deathbed. Sorry to write in this dramatic way, but I think this way of looking at things will make us more better at managing success and failures.

The tragedy of success!

A personal experience on why success really not matters in life!

Who doesn’t want success in life? I am sure everyone are affirmative regarding success. Because failure is bad, it hurts, makes us feel sad and depressed. While success on the other side, makes us happy, popular and even powerful. The society praises the successful people. But, success brings with it its own set of tragedies, and we have to pay a price for that.

Let me tell you my school days story. I used to be a topper in my school. I was a A student or grade wise, a straight 4.0 guy. My primary focus in my school days was just study, get good grades, become a topper and again study more. Its almost like I was stuck in a infinite loop where more study made me topper in my class, but then I used to become afraid that I might lose out, and so I used to study even more for the next grade. So, basically, I was stuck, quite badly stuck!

Now, when I look back to my 14 or 15 year old me, I simply cannot stop laughing. Because I really don’t understand what made me so obsessed for topper rank or in other words, fascinated for success. I had tasted my fair share of success, but somehow that taste soon became insatiable. I wanted more and more, and however, more I got, I was not happy. Still the fear to lose out the top rank or even lose the praise from the society or family made me do that.

But now I realise that becoming successful is actually dangerous in life. Because the price to pay for success is much more than the fruits gained out of success! Why do I say so?

Let me elucidate by what I mean by tragedy of success. As I said, I got success quite early in my life. But assuming that was the biggest mistake I ever made. Because I did not learn the joy of hard working. Even though I was hard working, but my attention was always fixated on the outcome, and not on the process of doing. Hence, whenever I achieved the end result, I just moved on to the next goal, without even thinking how much efforts I had really made. Its almost like I had become some sort of machine.

So, when I say I did not know the joy of hard working is because the ones who fail in that age, know how much efforts it takes to become successful. They know how much work is needed to climb the ladder. Those who fail early in life become appreciative about their own efforts. Those who fail and succeed, not only understand what they have gained, but also the means by which they have reached the zenith. And that’s the best part of failing and succeeding. Because at the end, its not the goal that gives the joy, but the journey that takes us towards it. Its like a roller coaster ride, where the ups and downs are what we enjoy, and not the end of the ride, right!

This is the first tragedy of success which makes us forget that it is not the end, but the means that really matters!

I missed that train in that tender age. Because I not only feared failing, but also feared to change the path. Because once I knew the mantra to success, I just kept blindly following it. By that I mean I just started emulating the same way of studying or working to get the final goal. And it worked, because my path gave me the top rank. And that’s why I said before, I had become some sort of machine, because only machines never change their way of working. It’s as if I was programmed in some sort and I religiously executed the code!

But in that process I failed. Why? Because I missed the important lesson of not trying to change the course. When we stick to some way of work or living, we get stuck. We then don’t innovate or try something different. We then don’t learn new things and miss experiencing new adventures in life. And when we don’t learn or experience, that means our life is stuck. Its like a pond where water gets stagnant and eventually dries up, without no fresh inflow of water. While the river on the other side, flows and is dynamic.

This is the second tragedy of success, where consistent success makes us stick to the same path, thereby turning our river like life into a pond, which someday gets stagnated and eventually dries up( and making us bored of success as well)

Finally, the third tragedy of success is quite known which is nothing but complacency. As the legendary CEO of Intel Andy Grove quoted, “Success breeds complacency, complacency breeds failure…” When we get too much repeated success, then we gradually become complacent. This is the law of nature. Because if this would not have been true then the mighty empires like Roman, Ottoman, British would never have fallen down. Even the toppers, the richest, the most famous would have always maintained their status quo. But they all went down, eventually. Because they got complacent at some point in life.

So, the third tragedy of success tells us that even success is not eternal. Yet we strive for it, because we forget that it is not going to be with us forever. Of course this does not mean, that we should not aim for success. No. But knowing the wisdom that if we cling on to just success, then either we become complacent, or we become paranoid to maintain it, which is nothing but the first tragedy of success, where we become like machines to guard our precious success. But doing so, just makes us lose the joy of achieving it. Then what’s the point of getting that success when we can’t even enjoy what we have achieved, right?

Thus, I end this post, with the simple message I learnt from my personal experience of being an early success in life. And that is, to never go after success. Rather to focus on the path of excellence, which inevitably leads us to the pinnacle of success, someday. And the magic is we don’t even know when we have climbed the Everest because we were busy enjoying the ascent of Everest!

The medium of expression..

Today, we are surrounded by all the modern technology and amenities. Every aspect of life is touched by some form of technology or an intelligent machine. One of the most vital aspect in human life is communication. This is what separates us from other animals. That’s why we humans are called social animals. And we have developed all sorts of devices including telephone to mobile phones, internet to social media, news media to radio transmission to facilitate this communication.

We are all connected in this web of information and communication. There are hardly any places on earth, where any network range, be it cellular or satellite cannot be reached. The world has been brought together with this invisible links of radio waves. We can talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace on the planet within seconds. If we cannot talk, we can leave a message, send a video, update our status, tweet something, post on the wall, and so many other options are available.

Yet, amidst all this digital crowd, we seem to be lonely. It’s as if we are lost in the crowd. This is baffling because inspite of all the tech devices at our finger touch, still our network seems to be lost somewhere. And this network is from our mind, our heart. We seem to stay away from group. As if we have taken for granted that we can connect with our friends and loved ones, anytime due to all the advanced technology. Yet, we fail to do so.

I wonder how many of us really stay in touch with our good friends? I understand that due to busy work schedule and family responsibilities, its not always possible to stay in the loop. Infact, it is said that after marriage, the couple often lose contact with their oldtime friends. Only after a dozen of years pass by, kids grow up, the mid-life crisis of late 40’s hit us, and then some invitation for a school or college re-union comes up, that when we try to connect back to our friends.

Earlier, there was no Facebook. So, the friends only had a option to connect using either phone or home address, which also changed often. Now, there is no such barrier. Yet, I find that more than 95% of my friends on Facebook, who used to be my good school and college friends are just ‘Digital’ friends today. No one is in touch with each other, even though they are just a click away on the app. While, we might be living in the same city, yet it feels like we all residing on different planets. I feel like they have become something like a fixed deposit investment, which I can use(connect) only when the term is over, like only when there is some kind of re-union or alumni meet, whatsoever.

I have often believed that letters are like the mirror of human mind and expression. Because when we write an informal letter, we often put more in our emotions and expressions than we would on facebook, or whatsapp. Maybe, because we are concerned of our privacy. In older days, this form of letter writing prevailed due to this subtler form of expression. Now, even though it has been replaced by more faster and encrypted ways of communication ( after all, letters were like an open secret, with an end to end non-encrypted transmission) like emails, phone and video calls, but its hard to replace the train of thoughts and ideas which used to get expressed in letters. Thats why all the letter writing between eminent personalities like Gandhi, Tagore, Nehru, Lincoln, Franklin, Vivekananda, Marie Curie, Einstein and many more have been collected and cherished in the form of books and in museums. Because those letters reflect the personality of those great men and women.

Even love letters are considered like a sacred form of expression between the couples. I have always believed that apart from love letters, there is no other form of delicate and honest communication between lovers. Today, lovers use all form of mediums be it facebook, instagram, whatsapp, or even an email to profess their love. Video calls, or proposing directly is the standard norm yet human mind is elusive. Because the mind often misinterprets the direct communication face to face, or voice as well. Only eyes tell the truth.

This poem in hindi perfectly tells what eyes speak..

आँखे सब बोलती हैं
सारे राज़ खोलती हैं
आँखे आईना होती है मन का
आँखे बोलती है दिल की ज़ुबानी
कह देती है अनकहीं कई कहानी
इंसान कितना भी छुपा ले जज्बातो को
मन कितना भी बहला ले दिमाग़ को
चेहरा झूट बोल सकता है
मुश्कान झूठी हो सकती है
आँखे सब बोलती है
सारे राज़ खोलती है

Translation:
Eyes speak everything
they unravel all the secrets
they are the mirror of human mind
they speak from the heart
however man tries to hide his emotions
or mind tries to elude the brain
human face can be liar
or smile can also be liar
but eyes reveal everything
they unravel all the secrets...

Just like eyes, the letters are the perfect medium to convey what the eyes tell. I am sure that however innovative ways of proposing or expressing love might happen, be it like proposing near the Niagara falls, or in front of Taj Mahal, the subtle expression and emotions which letters convey cannot be emulated.

But the sad aspect is today, letters communication have become rare like a good politician. The most obvious reason is there is no need to write letters, when we have more faster and simpler tools like emails, phone calls, text, video etc etc..I agree but still I feel this form of communication ( especially informal)has to be preserved. Because letters open a new door of mind which is more mature and understanding, which a messenger text or whatsapp message cannot.

I am ending this post for now. As we becoming more and more busy and occupied, the communication channels are getting closed day by day. Its like we are experiencing solitude amidst a crowd, and that can be one of the worst evolution of humans. Because we being social animals, and all these communication technologies were meant to increase human contact, but rather, what we are seeing is we are just communicating with the machines, and not humans. Instead of getting closer, we getting drifted apart from our friends and loved ones.

Soon a day will come, where a robot will take care of all our calls, messages, filter out the important and spam ones, send a reply on our behalf. I am sure this will happen some day because of the way AI and robotics is advancing…

The 7 vices of Social Media..

The seven deadly sins in the world of social media and online tech.

Remedies for the 7 Deadly Sins of UX | Contentsquare — Credits

Can we relate the above 7 sins to social media/tech world?

Gluttony – Amazon
Envy – Instagram
Wrath – Twitter
Lust – Tinder and porn sites
Pride- Apple
Sloth – Facebook, Netflix
Greed – Robinhood, Bitcoin and quick investing

-> Amazon resembles the vice – gluttony. Because its not Amazon to be blamed, but our never ending desire for over buying and over consumption. And it is our unquenchable desire for over buying which has made Jeff Bezos the richest man on the earth. That’s why to counter this vice, there is virtue by the legendary Warren Buffett which says

12 Best Warren Buffett Quotes on Investment, Life and Making Money | Funny inspirational quotes, Warren buffett, Friendship quotes — Credits

Interestingly, Jeff Bezos has smartly taken care of this as well. If we run out of money to buy things on Amazon, we can also sell things on Amazon!

-> Instagram resembles the vice – Envy. There cannot be any better tool than Instagram to inculcate this vice. It infact makes us not only envious of others, but also makes us feel our world is so banal and boring.

-> Twitter resembles Wrath. How many of us have suddenly become self-proclaimed pundits on every topic, and have blurted out our anger against politicians, or anyone on twitter? I have sure many of us already have. Even I used to do that on this medium, and so did Trump. Infact. Trump took it to another level where he used Twitter to bash his opponents, critics, or media ( like CNN or Times). Indeed, even a single tweet of 140 characters is enough to do the damage!

-> Lust is best represented by Tinder and other sites, including porn/dating sites. Because such apps are designed for short term dating or even one night stand only. They are not meant to find the soulmate or even a long term relationships. Even though, they might market their app to find the best soulmate or partner, but in reality, all it does best is the spread this vice of lust. And porn is something which only serves the lustful nature of human mind.

-> There comes Apple and along with it comes pride. Yes, there cannot be any product or tool which we are super pride of. Apple is the perfect design for letting pride go into our heads. The way they market their products, the charisma of Steve Jobs, the exorbitant price of all the Apple products makes it strikingly attractive. And that’s what fills the owner of this product with pride. Its as if there cannot be any better phone than Iphone. Its as if a college student cannot graduate if he/she does not have a Mac. Its as if we all want to imitate Steve Jobs and all his larger than life quotes. This is what Pride is as per Apple standards.

We're here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?” ~ Steve Jobs | Steve jobs quotes, Job quotes, Steve jobs best quotes

By the way, Apple’s sports band is named ‘Pride’ which supports the LGBTQ+.

-> Sloth which means laziness, and the best way to stay Lazy is to stay Active on Facebook. I find Facebook one of the best way to ruin our life with laziness. If we are bored, just scroll the facebook posts. The Facebook videos, and our friends posts are enough to divert our attention from whats most important to whats least important. Even Netflix, Amazon Prime and YT serve as mediums for procastination and thereby become lazy. But atleast we have the control over those OTT media service. But with Facebook, its the contrary. It has the control over the levers of our mind and our productivity.

-> Finally, Greed. Greed for money, for power, for fame has always been considered one of the worst sins. And in today’s world, this greed for money is best fuelled by the quick investing apps like Robinhood. Bitcoin have had a roller-coster ride in the last few years. Several ponzi schemes and other get rich faster apps are available, and never has it been so easy for someone without any knowledge of finance or markets to invest money. It seems like such kind of fast and quick return ‘Invest-ment’ is actually ‘In-Waste’ment.

And just like to counter gluttony, Warren Buffett comes here at our rescue to counter this vice – Greed through his wisdom. Having built his fortune on sound foundations laid down by principles and good economics, I agree that the best way to counter Greed is by following Warren Buffett’s wisdom.

Top Warren Buffett Quotes Inspiring Success - | Beyond Exclamation — Credits

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The simplicity of Life…

Few years back, I used to visit my grandparents who used to stay in a village in India. My grandfather was the most educated person in the village ( he was a Civil Engineer who had graduated back in 1950’s) and hence was the most respected elderly person in the village. I feel extremely sad he is no more today, and may his soul rest in peace in heaven.

But those days were different in around 2011-12, even just 8-9 years back in India. I was persuing my Engineering studies and during summer time, I used to travel with my Mom to visit my grandparents. The roads in the village were unpaved, and blackouts were frequent ( Rather, having steady supply of electricity was rare). My grandpa had retired from Govt service, after having supervised as Deputy Chief Engineer over many construction projects, including famous dams like Koyna dam, Ujni dam and Bhatsa dam in India.

He was practicing agriculture in his ancestral village, and he had quite a few cows and buffaloes. He hired few men from the village to work on the farms. There was no advanced machinery for agriculture, like tractors. The region had dry climate, and hence, most of the agriculture was dependent on the monsoon rains. Even though the govt had dig a canal, but the water in the canal often was over-used/ mismanaged and hence dried up frequently.

There was no television in our village house. As electricity was infrequent, having a television did not really matter. My grandma only had a radio which she used to listen to songs and daily news broadcast. But there was no scarcity of good and healthy food. I remember, she used to milk the cows in early morning, and then she used that fresh and healthy milk for the daily use to make tea, coffee or other dairy products like butter and ghee. The vegetables were obtained from the farms directly, either planted by my grandpa or some neighbours. Even fruits like mangoes, grapes were never purchased from outside the village, all were grown in the village itself. The lunch and dinner often had roti, or bhakri (a bread made from jowar), curd milk, peanut chatni ( grind peanuts with masala’s), raw onions, rice, daal( lentils) and vegetables. All this made a perfect lifestyle with healthy food consumption.

After all the daily chores, we used to sit in the frontyard and talk a lot about all the family affairs, or I used to tell about my college experiences, or even what’s new in the world. There was no internet, no whatsapp, no facebook, no twitter back then. Atleast it hadn’t reached the villages. Leave aside the noise of social media, many of the houses even did not have a smart phone. Recently, I heard that it is difficult to find even a single house which does not have a smartphone or even a facebook account nowadays.

Life was simple back then, and I simply loved it. Whenever I visited the village, I used to feel so relaxed from all the hustle and bustle of the city life. There seemed to be no stress, no deadlines, and no tensions in life there. After all that was not needed. Life used to be easy going, and people lived a stable life. Their needs were less, and hence, the greed was also less. The food was healthy, air was pure, and society respected that way of living. I used to woke up using the nature’s alarm of hens clucking. The house was designed in such a way that the rays of morning sunlight used to enter our bedroom through ‘zaroka’ or roof top window. Where can we find this ambience these days, especially in cities?

Later in life, I did a lot of globetrotting, like moving to USA, seeing the luxurious New York, staying in some of the finest places on earth. But never ever I could find that calm and serene environment, that stable life, those kind hearted people in any other part of the world, that which is close to my heart..

I really miss that life, that ambience, those good and simple village people. Just in the span of a decade, it seems that life has changed like never before. Those days had all the simplicity of life, and only those who have experienced it in their life, will understand the value of those gone days….

Pic of the week!

I find the above picture one of the most motivating. The beautiful flower is alone surrounded by dry grass. The sun is shining brightly and it’s taken during late afternoon today. The city is seen faraway as if no one cares for this alone flower.

Our life is like this flower. We are unique in this world. We are surrounded by all the problems and just like sun’s heat, life gives us shocks and surprises. There are ups and downs in life. Just like the city is faraway from this beautiful flower, similarly many times we feel that all the good luck, all the dreams and even our loved ones are faraway from us. Many times we feel to be alone in this world where everyone is busy in his or her own world, driven by money, fame and power.

But this flower teaches a very important lesson. Just like it has blossomed, and become a beautiful flower in spite of all the dull surroundings, and harsh weather, so do we need to keep moving ahead in life in spite of all the problems in life. We might be alone, but that shouldn’t stop us from achieving our dreams, or living a good life. Just like the city doesn’t even notice this flower, similarly our hard work, our aims might not get anyone’s attention, but that should not make us lose hope in life.

We need to keep working, and helping others, and keep glowing just like the flower! I am glad to took this picture, and learnt some life lessons from a small flower.

The missing part in life..

Sunset Boat Tour Naples - Sweet Naples Tours — Credits

Well, I very frequently answer questions on Quora. And even though Q&A platform hosts a plethora of topics, I find many questions coming from teenagers or young college going folks about life. They seem to ask very depressing questions about having lost interest in life? Or have failed in life at the age of 19? ( which stunned me for a while..) or having failed in exams repeatedly and so lost interest in life? And even few of them write about having no girlfriend, and so depressed in life and even going to the extent of being prepared to commit suicide?

I find that many of the questions and worries arise at that time are due to over-expectations from life. At that age, we feel the world is perfect, because we are taught so at school. We think we should never fail, because we have always been good at school. We think if we fail, that’s the end of life, because our friends will move on to the next class or some good college, and we have lost the race. So, we have lost the chance in life to rise.

When I read these questions, I feel very sad at the thinking of these teenagers or young folks. Ofcourse, I am not very old either, but atleast I have crossed the stormy waters of teenage and even to certain extent the good old college days. All these questions come from over-expectation from life. Because the canvas of our understanding of life is very narrow at that time. And due to which, it is very easy to get entangled in the negative thoughts and ideas. So, whenever I see such questions, I feel it as an obligation to write answers to their questions to try to convince them with the reality of the world, and so they can start thinking positively about life. Here are some of the questions which asked.

https://www.quora.com/I-failed-in-life-I-used-to-be-a-topper-but-left-with-nothing-I-ruined-my-life-I-am-19-now-I-have-no-hope-in-life-and-waiting-for-the-end-Can-you-motivate-me-with-some-examples/answer/Abhishek-Karadkar-5

https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-in-life-to-lose-gracefuly-Im-30-I-havent-had-a-gf-in-10-years-Im-a-college-drop-out-Im-autistic-I-live-with-my-mom-I-work-for-minumum-wage-I-want-to-die-every-day-Why-am-I-still-alive/answer/Abhishek-Karadkar-5

The above is a classic case of over-expectation from life. I find the problem is until school, we are being raised up in an almost ideal world, enclosed within the school premises and safe home environment. We are being guided by school teachers and even college mentors about the career decisions we need to take in life, or what subjects should we choose etc. But no one teaches the most important subject which is life itself! We hardly fail until we get into college, and even in university, we always strive to be A-grade student throughout. We have stable relationships until we reach college, where our parents support us, financially and emotionally, our school or college buddies are with us, and everyone is nice with us. But things change when we leave the secure home or college gates, and venture out into the world of job or business. We get hit with new deadlines, with work pressure, and no one seems to be trust worthy. Suddenly, we see we are failing at our work or even our relationships start to crumble, and then due to being raised in a near perfect world of a nice and goody environment, we suddenly lose interest in life. One breakup, or one failure shatters us completely. And slowly and steadily, people start losing interest in life, many blame of being tricked until school that the world is a good place, and they blame everyone in this world, except themselves. And then people ask the above questions when things totally go wrong or in a bad direction..

So, I wish we were taught in school or college itself that this world is not a perfect place. It is not fair either. When we are taught about physical education and science of how the world works, we are just taught the principles of how it works ideally! Rather, we need to be made aware of how imperfect this is and it is our moral obligation to make it perfect. We are lauded for our grades, and achievements, and special care is taken that no one fails, just to be politically correct. Rather, we should be allowed to fail and experience what failure is. Because it is better to fail at an early age, than to fail later in life. We are being conditioned to concentrate more on exams and preparation for cracking the tough exams, but the real puzzle is life itself, and no one even dares to crack this puzzle. People expect that we will learn as we grow up and get the experiences as time passes. But we are not taught that a set of bad experiences can shake our self belief and crumble us down. Because we are set to sail the boat in the stormy life, all alone. Its almost like sailing the boat without even knowing how to steer the boat in the right direction. Then when the storm of emotions due to some bad experience like failure in exams or getting a job, or even losing a loved one like parents or girlfriend hits us, how can we expect to sail this boat safely?

Hence, I feel this part is what is missing in life. That’s why people ask such depressing questions on such platforms, and many even take the worst steps which inevitably decides the fate of their life. I feel this over ideal, over safe, over secure, over caring life in school or college is something a obstacle to know the reality of life. Even though many of us, like me, learn it the hard way sooner or later. But isn’t it nice to know it before? Like for example exams like IIT entrance, SAT, CAT or GMAT for MBA entrance, or even UPSC for Indian Civil service are just entrance to a career stream. But when we are in school or college, we are taught that if we crack these exams, then life is SET. Then Life is the best with no money issues or job security problem. Its like a safety net for life. I was also eluded into this WEB of LIES… To my 28 year old self, I want to ask now that was it really worth preparing so hard for those exams? Has life been so good for me? Has it provided me a safety net?

My answer is a big NO! Infact, I faced some of the toughest problems in my life even after I had secured admission in one of the finest universities in the USA, or even after I landed a well paying job. The exam preparation didn’t help me to solve my life problems. It just handed over me to the gates of a career which I didn’t know whether it was right for me or not. It did not make me happy. Even after passing the exams, or getting a degree, I wasn’t happy. Why? Because they were never my life goals or something I deeply wanted in life. They were the tasks which were assigned to me due to the influence of peers in school or college. Everyone was persuing them, and so we do not want to fall behind. So,we also enter the rat race, and slog hard to pass them. And then we get blacked out! So,the problem is even if we pass or fail them, life doesn’t change much. Still people give so much over importance to them, that they get depressed when they fail in such exams.

So, this is the missing lesson of life. I learnt it through a hard way that above all such school or entrance exams, it is the life’s exam that matters the most. And the bad part is there is no syllabus, no particular exam dates, no graders and no evaluation of it. We have to give this exam everyday, any time, with surprises and shocks, and we ourself have to evaluate whether we passed or failed….

So,till then, lets keep filling these missing part of wisdom in our life, which act as a wheel to steer our boat in the right direction…

The Truman Show!

A short review on how ‘Trumanized’ the world has become

I recently watched ‘The Truman Show’ movie after a long time. Even though it has been more than 2 decades since this movie was released, but after seeing this movie, I can relate the world resembles much like ‘The Truman Show’ more than ever!

This movie was way ahead of its times! I am simply enamoured by the depth this movie has. This movie depicts the life of reality show which happens to portray reality in an abstract manner. Because, unlike the usual daily soaps or reality shows, this movie actually shows the real world itself. Because, I find not much difference between the world we live in today, and that of the world presented to Truman in his name show! Today, we are surrounded by hundreds of gadgets and devices on which our life is dependent on. Everything is tracked, and surveillance has become the oxygen of this world. Just like the intricate network of 5000 cameras captured every minute details of Truman, so does all the ‘Internet of Things’ does for us. The information we Google, the friends we make on Facebook, the messages we send on WhatsApp, the pictures we like on Instagram, the videos we watch on YouTube, the mail we send on Gmail, the apps we downloaded from AppStore, the online shopping we make on Amazon, the places we travel to on Google Maps, the restaurants we visit on Yelp, the jobs we apply for on LinkedIn, the hotels we stay in, the people we date on Dating Apps, the car we drive, the books we read, or the credit card we use for purchases…OMG, doesn’t it sound like ‘The Truman Show’?

And the worst part is that we have become used to all this. We have indirectly accepted all this by our own consent. As Christof rightly said in this movie,

We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented. It’s as simple as that.
Christof, the creator of ‘The Truman Show’

Today, we accept the world presented by news media, entertainment movies, TV shows, podcasts, talk shows, internet and social media as being the real one. It is like we have become a part of crowd psychology. The way of eating, shopping, dating, travelling all being inadvertently influenced and standardised. Monopoly is the real rule book these days. If all the information networks decided to make a villain out of some person, then there is no way the world can oppose it. That person is bound to get victimised. And ironically, all the media pride themselves on free speech, freedom and liberal values. In reality, it is their imposition of information and opinions on the world which thwarts the freedom of all the people. But unfortunately, we all have become like ‘Truman Burbank’. We simply don’t even know that we are stuck up in a world of ‘sea-haven island’ owned by tech billionaires, media moguls, oil barons and business conglomerates which have turned this world into a studio to make us accept the reality as they want us to see.

Image result for truman show studio from space — Image Credits

And this show did one marvelous thing. It predicted the future of the world. After its release in 1998 ( the same year when Google started), most of the today’s giant social media( FB, Insta, Twitter, YT, WhatsApp) and government surveillance program( PRISM), all happened in the last 22 years. Even the Iraq invasion was imposed by the Bush administration under the false pretext of Iraq having WMD. And you know, the world accepted it. Because we all were ‘Trumanized’. Had it not been the audacious whistleblowers like Ed Snowden, Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning, we would not even have realized about such clandestine programs. Had it not been Chris Wylie, then Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal would never have become known. All this has been beautifully depicted in the TV show “The Social Dilemma” in which Tristan Harris sheds light on the dark reality behind the glittering social media world. All these people refused to accept the world as it was presented to them. After all this is the basis of scientific mindset isn’t it? We owe our progress of the world to the curiosity, scientific mindset and the brave men and women who refused to be a part of this show, and who rather challenged the existing stereotype.

So, finally, as said in the movie by Christof, ‘If he was absolutely determined to discover the truth, there’s no way we could prevent him“. Similarly, we have the freedom to choose our own opinions, our ideas and our thoughts. We have the right to accept and reject what is bombarded at us by the world. There is no need for everything to be standardized or even labeled under some ideology. This world is diverse, and beautiful. Even we humans come in all forms of color, race, languages, tradition, culture and behavior. We don’t need to embrace what the media tells us always. We don’t need to eat a particular burger or a soft drink just because the marketing team desperately tries to convince us. We don’t need to buy a tech gadget just because the media tells its a cool thing! We don’t need to embrace the life of Page 3 models and actors, assuming it be charming. We can and must maintain the freedom to live as per our conscience. Ofcourse, it isn’t that easy to sail upstream. But as said, if we are absolutely determined to not become like Truman, then no technology, no media propaganda, or surveillance can stop us from living a free life. We can live a life which does not allow our opinions to be influenced by what trends in social media. Just like Truman stepped out of his studio exit, so can we exit all the hatred, wrong bias, narrow opinions from our mind.

I wish I had known before..Part 1

I wish I had known somethings early in life such as …….

Today, I am writing about few things in life which I wish I had known before….But I think most of us get to know this only through experience, or maybe few of the lucky ones might get this wisdom early in life as well. But here’s my first wisdom I wish I had known before…..

Early success in life is not really a big thing

Yes, this is because when we are in school and university, we often are very disciplined and studious. We take our study and academic life very seriously ( atleast many of us, and I took it pretty seriously). So, with that hard work, we get the good grades and marks. And we think that is success. Because, after all, in school and college life, marks or GPA is the only yardstick to judge if we are progressing or failing, isn’t it? But that early success is really not a big achievement. Why?

Firstly with that continued success ( I say this because I used to be either a topper, or always amongst the top five in class), we become complacent, and even limit ourselves to our studies only. We form a fortress around ourself, with what is called as comfort zone, and then we are happy with that success inside that comfort zone. We make friends who are just like us, either toppers, nerds, or achievers. That’s when groupism starts, as we limit ourselves from getting to know the other things in the world. Now, I know studying is one of the important parts of school and college life, as it imparts the future perks like good college, scholarships, good job and lots of nice things in life. And I agree with that, as my life would not have been as comfortable ( atleast to a certain extent) had I not studied and got good grades.

But the problem is we often sink ourselves into that world of success early in life. And in that process, we miss out a lot. Because schooling, teenage and early 20’s life never ever come back again, once its gone. And once we are adults, we have to work, there is no escape except if you are born in a Kardashian or Paris Hilton family. And the adulthood brings with it all its own set of perks like responsibility, stress, work pressure, deadlines, financial obligation, relationship commitment, marriage, kids etc etc. So, failing in adulthood is not a good option. We have to work and achieve some degree of success, depending on our ambitions and goals.

So, only childhood and teenage life has that advantage when we really don’t need to work so hard. Because as I had seen in my generation, and it continues till today, that kids, teenagers and collegiates are so much stressed out regarding their grades, homework, assignments, exams, projects and what not. The coaching classes have created even more mess into their life, by having 6 to 8 hours of classes. They not only have to study in school, but also at home, almost till they go to bed. And with the ed-tech companies and digital apps, now, there is no longer any restriction to study for x number of hours only. With apps and online education, 24×7 classes and coaching is ON…. Even kids as small as 6 to 8 years old are introduced and forced to do coding by a startup in India. The rat race for IIT coaching was there at that time, and now it has worsened. These poor kids and teenagers have to spend their 5-6 precious years just to get the early success in life, by cracking a particular exam, or getting 5.0 GPA to get into MIT, harvard or even become like mark zuckerburg.

Hence, I think that early success and working until getting exhausted is really over-rated. There is no need for all this. Because later in life, they have to work until they get retired. There is simply no escape. And I think that if they work too much in their early life, then the possibility to get burned out and hence, lose interest in life is more. This happens, and I am also a part of it. Sometimes, I just dont want to work anymore, even though I like to work. Why? Because I have been doing that since my school or college days, and so I am not only bored to do that again and again, but also I miss my old days for not having done few things which were easily possible. Like playing a particular sport, video games with friends, going out for trekking or cycling with school buddies, dating a girl whom I liked ( but not possible now as she is either married or dating someone else or away living in some other country), or even reading books of famous authors like Ernest Hemingway, Albert Camus, or Isaac Asimov.

And I miss doing those activities, as I was just busy at that time in persuing that early success which no one cares today. That success made me miss other things which could have made my life more enriched with experiences. That early success made me live in a bubble, where I felt academic or college accomplishments is all that mattered. Oh Boy, I was so wrong! That early success even made me lose the opportunity to spend quality time with my family, friends or even the girl which I liked. And most important of all, that success made me unaware of what failure is. Because as said by J K Rowling and many successful people, that it is failure that teaches the lessons which enable us to grow in life, and not success. As J K Rowling said.”…that I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.” But even she realized later that her early success could not prevent her from spinning down into poverty, committing some mistakes and getting depressed. Because she admits that she had been avoiding failure, and had been in an illusion that her early success will enable her to ride the journey of life. But later did she understand the importance of failure, and how it teaches the vital lessons of life.

That’s why it is said that “Failures are stepping stones to success”. Hence, I wish I had known earlier that it is OK to fail early in life as life is always simpler when you are living with your parents, and you are not bombarded with colossal responsibilities. And you have time, and space to fail, and rise again, again fail at something else, and learn from it to rise again, when you are 16 or 20 years old. But once we enter the field of adulthood, I do not believe the world opens its arms to embrace you with your failures. So, the room for improvement is highest when we are very young. Ofcourse, it does not mean we cannot fail at later age. Yes, we can but just that the efforts to climb up amidst all the paraphernalia is not very welcoming.

Hence, I would say that just as we were taught the poem “Early to Bed, Early to Rise…..when we were kids, I think we can tweak that a little bit, such as “Early to Fail, Early to Rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise!”

Hope is a good thing!

How to be aware of the power within us!

The heading of this post might remind few of the readers about the epic movie “The Shawshank Redemption”. That movie is one of my favorites! In that movie, Andy Dufresne tells Red, that “Hope is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies!”. I find this quote to be so much valuable in our life.

Because everything changes in life. Just like day and night, young and old, summer and winter, so does our situations, our successes, our failures all change with time. Similarly in life, we see events happening, and some events are so deep, that their effect remain with us for a long time. We feel that this will never change. We start losing hope, and then suddenly, out of utter darkness, there comes a ray of light which makes darkness disappear. That ray of light is the hope. A small good event can change the entire situation. We ought to keep faith in that ray of hope.

I particularly like the Austrian psychologist Viktor Frankl’s book “Man’s Search for Meaning”. It is one of the splendid books ever written. For me, that book is something which charges my battery with renewed hope and faith, whenever failures or setbacks bombard me. That book is like a charging station of positivity and synergy. The book is very simple yet heart touching. The author had to undergo the worst experiences in Auschwitz, yet he managed to not only survive but also find hope and faith in such a hell. He even helped several of his colleagues to overcome depression and losing hope in life. The author simply argued that “Life can have meaning even in the most miserable of circumstances and that the motivation for living comes from finding that meaning. That we humans have a power to choose our response to situations, however gruesome they might be, And in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

I find this to be so true even in our daily life. Thank God we are in much better situation as compared to the infernal concentration camps. And we have the same power to respond to the situations we face in our life. Stephen Covey quoted ” Look at the word responsibility—“response-ability”—the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling”. Isn’t the message by Viktor Frankl and Stephen Covey resonate on the same note?

The Peter Parker principle says “With more power, comes more responsibility”. I would add on to that, No power does not mean no responsibility. Because, whether the situation is good or bad, we all are “Response-Able”. Our response does not depend on the power. Rather, I find with positive or pro-active response to any situation, comes more power to beat the problem!

We all have the power and freedom to choose the response. We can either give positive or negative response. Everyone has the ability to respond. And this power to respond is a hope for us, that every situation can be changed. If some of us remember the movie Cast Away, we can relate how Tom Hanks desperately tried hard to get away from the island to reach civilization, but the stormy ocean waves destroyed all of his attempts. Until one day, he finds the same storm delivers a metal enclosure, and suddenly Tom receives a brainwave! He finds hope that he can escape using that part, and finally he builds a much stronger boat that can withstand the waves, and sails across the mighty ocean to get noticed by civilization! That’s hope and faith, my friend!

So, never lose hope, never lose your response, however dark the night may be!

Professor and the boatman!

How an interesting story can tell us a lot about life!

Boatman vs Professor – RonelDamian — Source

There is one beautiful story of a professor and the boatman. I assume many of us might have read about this in school. But I guess with time, we often forget the good things we learnt before. So, let’s start this post with this interesting story.

The story begins with the professor, a very erudite and learned man, who decides to cross the river to reach his destination. He sees a boatman, and asks him if he could cross the river. The boatman agrees and thus begins the journey of the professor across the river. The river is huge, and due to recent rains, it is flooded across its breadth. The professor soon gets bored, and starts talking with the boatman to pass the time. He asks the boatman ,”Do you know about science and engineering?”. The boatman is confused, and tells the professor, he does not know anything about it. The professor tells the boatman,”Your 25% life is wasted as you do not know about science and engineering which is so important in today’s technological revolution”.

Steem Cartoon : The Professor and The Boatman — Steemit — Source

Then, the professor asks the boatman, “Okay, then tell me, have you read about geography, climate, and environment which is necessary to understand the earth and its wonderful seasons”. The boatman is again confused and just nods his head. The professor laments on the boatman, and says “Oh no, you have wasted 50% of your life. Anyways, let’s keep this aside. Just tell me, do you know anything about economics, how money works, and about banking, finance etc. anything?” The boatman by then is extremely sad and says, “Sir, I do not know anything about this either”. The professor sees the boatman’s situation as pitiful, and tells him, ” My dear, you have wasted 75% of your life!”

During this conversation, the boat has crossed halfway. Then, suddenly, the boatman sees something and asks the professor” Sir, do you know how to swim?”. The professor laughs and says, “No, I never got the time to learn it, as I was busy studying the world, science, politics, philosophy and economics”. The boatman tells the professor “Sorry sir, we have a hole in the boat, and the boat is going to sink!”.And then before jumping to save his own life, the boatman says to the professor” I think you have wasted 100% of your life!”.

Now, what’s the moral of the story? Well, this is a very interesting story, and it’s one of my favorites. I find this extremely relevant in our modern day life. We all are to a certain extent living the life of the professor. We study in school and college about the wonders of the world, about history, about science, but then do we even apply them in later life. We slog and work hard the whole life in earning money or making a living, but we forget that money is made for us, and we are not made for money. We have harnessed the power of science to solve physical problems which has reduced efforts, in other words made us lazy and dependent. But we have not harnessed the power of our mind and brain to the fullest. That’s why we worry too much for small issues, get nervous or depressed easily, stress out our life over petty relationships or serve our big ego. We forget that we are social animals, who are expected to care for others and live together. But we just maintain our animalistic instincts which can roughly be scaled down to eating, sleeping and mating.

So, what has happened, in short, is we are wasting 100% of our life, in spite of all the learning, earning, fighting, gossiping. Because, like the boatman, we are not learning how to swim, which means understanding what life is about, and how to live it beautifully. Books can be written ( or are already written by famous philosophers and writers). So, “Not learning how to swim means not learning how to live”. That, we are not living our life to the fullest. That we are working on those things like money, house, or car which ain’t going to save our life, on our deathbed, or even save our life, when we are depressed. Only by understanding the importance of life which means having a disease free, strong body, a stress free mind, a social and caring personality, by loving nature, family and country is going to help us swim the vast ocean of life, which is filled with enemies like sharks, ups and downs like surface waves and encompasses a depth of uncertainty and problems which needs to be overcomed to keep ourselves afloat! That’s the moral of the story!

Life is real short..

Steve Jobs once said in his commencement speech address that “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” If we keep the humor aside, then it does convey a deep aspect in our life.

Our life is real short, and we keep thinking that life is a long journey. We get involved in petty conflicts, we keep working for the job we hate, we keep talking nonsense things about others the entire day and listening the same from them. We often fail to realize that the end of life can happen anytime.

We need to spend our time on those things which we want to do in our life. We keep scheduling them ahead and ahead in life, but who knows what will be there ahead. We save money for a rainy day in future, but miss out the present joy by worrying about the future. Though there is nothing wrong to save money or invest for a better life ahead, but sacrificing the present joy, and happy moments for some bright sunny day is not always the wise choice. As we do not know how long we are gonna live, hence it is better to keep enjoying everyday life has given us, and also make sure we can enjoy the future similarly.

We need to be very mindful of how we talk, behave with people around us, especially within our family and friends. We often forget how our parents, family and friends are incredibly vital in our lives. Rather, we fight with them, keep some distance from relatives due to certain conflicts, compete with friends due to jealousy or envy, and even drag our family to courts for property or familial matters. I am not saying everything should be goody goody relations with family and relatives. That is not always possible, but the problem is often we spend so much time of our life in fighting with them on some issues, and we realize how petty that thing was when they suddenly die or pass away. We then feel guilty of how we behaved with them, then blame ourselves for the mistakes committed, and for not giving them few nice moments which they surely deserved.

Hence, we should always keep in mind that life is short not only for us, but for others as well, and there is no point in fighting over small petty issues with them. If we can’t live together with them, then atleast we can get separated amicably without fights or quarrels. Often divorce filing is one of the worst experience in a couple’s life, and by keeping in mind, that life is small and too valuable for not getting involved in such fights, then we realize in the long run, such legal procedures are just a waste of time. Also they make our life more miserable. It is better to live together or get separated without wasting time in long, costly legal fights.

Concluding, we need to just be aware that each day given to us is a gift by life, and it is important that we do some good work before the day ends. We never know what’s going to happen the next day. Everyday, even if we do a tiny amount of good work for others or add some value to the world, then our day has been worth lived……

Life is what we make it..

I recently read Peter Buffett’s book “Life is what you make it” . After reading the book, I found it to be a very interesting and insightful book. First of all, I was not aware who Peter Buffett was. This is because he introduces himself as being a musician, composer and author. Later did I find out that he is also the youngest son of the legendary investor Warren Buffett. This not only raised my eyebrows but also surprised me of the humble attitude and unconventional career selected by Peter, considering his father’s legacy. Ofcourse, this is perfectly fine as everyone has his/her freedom to choose and to practice any profession. But we live in a world where nepotism has become the abiding law( especially in India) and only few people like Peter dare to venture out of their own inspite of the riches laid before them.

I found the book to be somewhat a mixture of Peter’s experiences in life and based on this, he has expressed his philosophy of life. He certainly credits a large share of this wisdom to his parents, and his cultured, mid-western upbringing. He has shared how his mother and father instilled in him a sense of self-respect, work ethic and independence since childhood. The kids were given a fair share of money after they turned 18, and were told not to expect anymore! Peter mentions how he foolishly spent the entire money and shares ( which today might have been worth of millions). But he does not regret about this, and has learned about value of money and life from these experiences.

Peter further adds his understanding of life, and how one should be committed in life to achieve anything. He has illustrated multiple examples of his father’s achievements and the way he achieved them. Even though he comes from a distinguished family, but his life does not reflect any thing even close to a spoiled rich kid. Rather, his simple living coupled with hardships he had to endure to gain recognition as a musician and composer is very exemplary.

He mentions commitment in life as a vital ingredient for tasting the food of success. In his book, Peter writes “Commitment moves the world. It both powers and heals us; its a fuel and medicine together. It’s the antidote to regret to apathy, to lack of self-belief. Commitment batters down closed doors and levels bumpy roads. Commitment begets confidence and also justifies confidence. Commitment enlarges our efforts by drawing on those deep down resources that lie fallow until we determine to discover them and use them.”

I really liked his emphasis on commitment, because it is indeed one of the most lacking aspect in life. Today, we see excess of goals and desires, but lack of commitment and consistency to achieve them. Surely, Peter has seen his father’s commitment in life, and this must have inspired him to accept the importance of commitment.

Adding further, Peter writes “Until one is committed there is tendency, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now”

The gist of the book can be summarized in Peter’s words “Life is what we make it, and part of succeeding lies in breaking through to a clear understanding of what our own success should look like. No one else can tell us how to measure or describe it. No one else can judge whether we’ve reached our goals or fallen short. The world can throw rewards at us, or can withhold them. That’s the world’s business. But the world can’t judge the fundamental value and legitimacy of what we are trying to achieve. That’s our business. The success we define for ourselves is the measure that cannot be tarnished or taken away”

We are stronger than we think we are, We have courage that we do not recognize until we need it. We are equal to challenges that we haven’t even imagined yet.
Peter Buffett

Thus, I would recommend reading this book as it not only conveys the philosophy of life, but also makes an educative read. Peter’s life stands as an inspiration for us to stay committed in life, and inspite of being privileged to live a fairly secure life without any dearth of money, he chose to carve out his own path in life, and has been living a dignified and satisfied life. He did not chose to simply follow his father’s footsteps, but with his courage, and self-realization, he has stood aside from all the glory and fame, and found his true passion in life, which is music. Men like Peter Buffett are rare, and even rare are such books of wisdom!

Peter ends his book by the following words “So, in closing, I will say to you the same thing that I have said to myself a thousand times. Your life is yours to create. Be grateful for the opportunity, seize it with passion and boldness. Whatever you decide to do, commit to it with all your strength…..and begin it now. What are you waiting for?”

Flower in the forest!

It is said that flowers are one of the nature’s most wonderful creation, just like women. As women have the most unique characteristic to give birth and become mother, so does flowers play a vital role in our life too. They are not only beautiful but they also make the world beautiful with their fragrance and beauty, in abundance! We often give flowers to our loved ones as a gift, be it during valentine’s day or when a husband ties the jasmine garland in his wife’s hair. The feeling of love and trust exuberated by the flowers has no parallel with any expensive gifts or jewelry.

Flowers show simplicity, and that makes it valuable. Though they are not that expensive ( depending on the flower though, but most of them are not), but the message of bonding they bring along cannot be denied. It does not matter what of kind of color the flower may be, red, yellow or white. That’s why even in all religions, we have the tradition to shower God with flowers, be it in temples, or in Dargah’s or in church as well.

Beyond this practical wisdom, flowers do have a lot more to express. It is said by some philosopher that if he had some money in his pocket, then he will spend the half of it to buy food, and spend the half of it to buy flowers! Because the food will keep him alive and the flowers will tell him why to stay alive! Indeed, flowers do share this wisdom for why life is important and what is important in it. We all are aware of the life’s never ending problems, and everyday is new one. We are often bombarded by the media and internet of the wrong happenings in this world. We very much get bored with the same kind of work we do and find ourselves stuck in a perpetual cycle of worries and conflicts.

But, a flower blossoms from its bud everyday, and never stops. It’s blossoming does not depend on the viewer’s appreciation. It simply does its work. Doesn’t it guide us with the wonderful principle of working without any expectation of fruit or outcomes. We often work with the end result expectation, and if we know our work is not going to get appreciated, then it becomes difficult for us to continue with the same momentum. But the flower performs beyond expectations!

People plant flowers in their gardens, and then know and appreciate the beauty of flowers. Usually, the famous flowers which are used everyday such as roses garner the admiration. But what about that rose which blossoms in the forest? As rare as hen’s teeth, it will be difficult for anyone to even know its existence. But still there are several beautiful flowers out in the wild forest, and they still blossom without any of our praise. Similarly, this is analogous to the fact that there are so many people in the world who work hard silently, but do not get any praise. There are many people who work quite inconspicuously, and due to which the show goes on! Be it the hard working doctors and nurses who are fighting against Covid to treat the patients, or be it the delivery men and women who handle millions of deliveries all over the world, when people like us simply order online. Even our mother always works hard for her kids to grow up and become successful. She does not even take any pay for the house work such as cooking, cleaning which she has to do 7 days a week for the whole year. In these modern days when a single paycheck isn’t enough, she even has to do her job for supporting the family. Our mother and all the people who work on the background to keep the world moving, are truely “the flowers in the forest!”

Also, a flower in the forest can also be related to the usual tendency of men and women to ignore/take granted for the loved ones and go after the unloved ones. Yes, this is ironic but don’t we assume people and relationships where we are 100% sure of them, and start taking them for granted. One of the legendary Marathi author P L Deshpande humorously said that “Prathamdarshani premala Dvitiyadarshani utara asto”. It means that after love at first sight, it starts reducing from the second glance! This is unfortunately true, because the people who love us often end up last on our list. We take their trust for granted and assume that this will continue forever. And so they become like the flowers in the forest, who are blossomed with their display of love and trust for us, but we are lost in the forest of our worries and pleasing other people (who in reality are not worth the attention and praise), and we tend to forget our loved ones at the end. Hence, it is written by a famous historian Will Durant in his biography that “What villains we are, that only the forbidden or withheld is sweet to us, and the most generous woman is soonest left unloved.”

Of course, it goes along fairly well on both sides. Will had written it back in 1920’s from the perspective of the male dominated world. But today, with equality, we see that this becomes gender irrelevant. Even few men & women become like the flower in the forest, and wonder what went wrong in their relationship, when he/she had all the talents and worldly accomplishments like education, wealth etc but still his/her river of love could not meet the ocean! Sometimes, it become agonizing for few of them due to breakups, and they even end up committing certain acts which was least expected from them. After all, they just wanted to get a recognition and acceptance of being a beautiful flower in the forest by the other equally beautiful flowers in the garden, isn’t it?

Well, As John Lennon said through his song “Love is the flower you’ve got to let grow.” We need to grow beyond the limitations put by the world, and ought to blossom in our own way. Just as a lotus grows in the mud, and still cherishes its own significance, so does we need to act on the problems in our life, and grow out of it. We cannot let the hidden lotus within us to submerge in the mud of problems. To grow out of it is its true dharma!

Stay connected to my blog, more to come soon!

© Abhishek Karadkar and abhiknotes.wordpress.com, 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Abhishek Karadkar and abhiknotes.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Small things add up…

Nowadays, when we are staying or working from home, and this being considered the new normal, it is natural to remember the old days ( not very old, but just few months or years back), and it seems that things have come up a a long way. Today, when we find ourselves stuck up in the virtual world of social media, Netflix and work from home, but we forget there used to be those days when we cherished the small walks in garden or in nature, drinking the hot chai during the rains, going for trek in nearby mountains or hills ( my hometown is blessed with many surrounding hills, and I have very fond memories of it), meeting friends in the evening and talking about out of the box topics, or even roaming around the city by car or bike, just for the sake of passing the time.

When these things were easily done by everyone, everyday ( without even being aware of it), we somehow did not value them. But even those small things add up. We often know and understand more by discussing with friends, rather than internet or books. We make good friends in real life by actual meeting, sharing, with all those fun and random gossip, and not over social media, or accepting follow up request. There was a time when people did not need daily motivation quotes or inspirational videos to stay motivated, but just looking at the real life problems and striving hard to solve them, kept them inspired. There was a time when people did not join weight reducing program to stay fit, but just doing the daily work, traveling by bus, walking, cycling, climbing the stairs, doing housework kept them fit. Gone are the days when every kid had to suffer the punishment at the hands of their parents and teachers, and that punishment somehow got engraved in their memory, which reminded them of not committing that mistake again. But today, on the contrary, we hear that the parents and teachers are punished if they do the same. But even those small things added up in life. We discarded them on the grounds of modernity, freedom and independence, but somehow, we see the need of those things.

After all, we are not meant to be confined to a virtual life or digital image on some online website. We are not meant to be just working to survive the competition or to stay ahead in the success race with family members or friends. As J K Rowling famously said that many people confuse between life and qualifications. We see that in old days, the reasons of stress were poverty or famine or floods or any natural disaster which would destroy the crops or house. But today,we are much much ahead of them, and still our generation has more stress then ever in human history, for what? To beat the competition, to keep social status, to maintain the relationships?? We are stressed out in our work not to make life better or find solutions ( there are exceptions like Elon Musk though), but just with the fear of public opinion, or to avoid breakup in marriage or relationship etc. Today, the equations of life are altered to such an extent where the good old ways of living is simply out of fashion. In this quest to carve out our digital identity in a virtual, encrypted world, we no longer find time for simple, random acts, or loving nature, or even just finding time to be with ourselves.

For the Indian audience who grew up watching the movies during 70’s and 80’s, there were some unique set of movies which glorified simplicity, honesty and innocence. They used to be called parallel cinema. After hearing the sad demise of Basu Chatterjee, many of us were reminded of that era. Particularly were Choti si Baat, or Rajnigandha, or Baton Baton Mein. Today, do we find the satisfied life, or happiness in simple things as depicted in those movies? Even though they were movies, but still those characters and the story touch common man’s life even today. Why? Because they showed reality, they showed the day to day life problems, and also showed the way to live happily amidst all those problems. That tolerance level, capacity to accept the hardships in life, patience to wait and let evolve the beauty of relationships is what we miss today. In many ways, that life was much much akin to nature.

More to write on the beauty of parallel cinema..

The tree and the mountain

I clicked this picture in the Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Colorado. It was a pleasant evening, and when I saw this little tree in front of the giant mountain, many thoughts started coming to my philosophical mind. After all, philosophy is one of my hobbies and I have always loved debating on several philosophical topics with my friends.

So, I find this picture to be very interesting. First of all, its very beautiful. The scenic beauty with the red rocks forming a barren mountain and this tree being the only green vegetation in the whole picture. Wow! I know we can find this in many places around Arizona or Nevada or even Utah. But this Colorado pic clicked my philosophical mind somehow.

I feel this tree represents the human life and the barren mountain represents life’s problems, responsibilities and burdens. Human life is short just like this little tree, and is surrounded by the giant mountain of work stress and societal pressures. As the mountain is completely barren, so are the problems and stress in life. There is greenness in the tree, but not on the mountain. Similarly, it is our life which is good, enriching in itself and not the work or societal expectations.

Just as the tiny tree is standing straight in front of the tall mountain, similarly, we have to stand up and face the mountains of problems in life. This tree resembles the hope and faith in life. I remember the famous quote from the movie “Shawshank Redemption” that “faith is a good thing, and no good thing ever dies”, on the same grounds, this tree stands as an example to grow up in this barren land, in front of the mountain, proudly. So we have to stand up in life and even though there might be huge problems and anxieties,we got to have faith in our own abilities, that we can and we will face them successfully.

This tree also sets a living example that inspite of being the lonely tree in the whole area, so is human life. We come alone in this world and we have to leave this world, alone! Sorry to be so dramatic, but this is hard truth, and we have to bite the bullet eventually. Just as the tree has its short life, so do we. In today’s rat race to achieve so called success, fame, power, love and money, we often forget why are we working so hard and what are we running after. Because all the power, money, fame and human life is short lived, just like this tree. But unlike this tree,we forget to grow and blossom, and by not allowing ourselves to understand the basic purpose in life, we simply keep beating around the bush, and get involved in acquiring temporary pleasures in life. It is sad to say that we waste half of our health to gain the wealth, and then we spend half of that earned wealth to get back the lost health!

We need to find our true purpose in life, our genuine interests and live the life that will help us live the fullest, just like this tree does. It does not care of anyone’s opinions and neither does it stop growing or giving shade to the travelers, due to fear of being alone in front of the huge mountain.Then, why do we forget our work, our responsibilities towards society or humanity and why do we waste our life brooding about the past, worrying about the current problems and being anxious about the coming future?

Just as the tree doesn’t care of the depressing barrenness surrounding it, so should we not overthink or get too much involved in work stress or problems. After all, work or problems in life keep coming and going. We need to remember the famous commencement speech address given by Steve Jobs in Stanford in 2005. He did remind us that “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”

Today, we are seeing the impact of covid-19 and fearing the possible recession, but similar fear had mounted up during 2007 crisis, but it did eventually subside. Similar was during 9/11 when the whole world was afraid of terrorism, but eventually, it got over. And same has been repeated so many times back in history, yet we fear, doubt our potential and forget the fundamental truth that “this too shall pass!”.

Hence, I conclude my philosophical thoughts and I am glad to have caught this picture during my travel in Colorado. It reminds me of my life purpose, my potential and gives us a message that no matter, how tall the mountains of fear, stress or problems might be in this barren cynical world, there is a hope and faith in the form of this tree which stands straight with pride to face all those anxieties and fears, grows and blossoms amidst all the problems and performs its duty/work without worrying about the surroundings (past or future).